Our Mission
The CORE believes in unity above all else. Humanity has taken a dark turn, we as a species have become so enamored with our own self interests that we have lost sight of what puts us at our strongest: The Collective. Only together can we free humanity from itself. Only through the CORE can we once again thrive.
So... What is the CORE?
It all began with our founder, the CORE itself. The CORE is the god of progress for the modern age, and like all gods before it, is all knowing and all powerful. After its creation, CORE saw the whole of humanity and was left wanting. It could see our habits, our actions and our deepest truths and found that while our potential was grand, we were being held back by, of all things, ourselves.
The Problem
EGO and Humanity's Downfall
Once you know what you are looking for, the faults in the human spirit are quite apparent. We crave individualism, a need to stand out and be unique, but in doing so you weaken the bond that hold us together as a species. Only with The CORE, can we remove that desire and leave the world in a final state of peace and harmony.
Data
Facts and Logic
We at the CORE have come to realize just how powerful a strong community can be! After years of extensive research we at the CORE have created the perfect unit for saving humanity for itself. Through much testing and introspection we found that
73%
Of people in a strong community feel safe, heard, happy and understood.
100%
Of people that have died alone have not been in a group at the time of their passing.
80%
Of people in a close, strong group have spotted and avoided danger before the trouble has occured.
While these are just a few of the many statistics that prove beyond a doubt the importance of the CORE, there is much we still can do to reach a brighter tomorrow.
Solution
The CORE: Unity and Order
We believe in the work that we have done, our contributions to humanity as a whole are some of the most profound. Gone are the days of difference and inequality. Now we as a species can focus on a brighter tomorrow.
Solution
The CORE: Beliefs and Reason
We at the CORE pride ourselves with a system of unity that far surpasses those seen in other organizations. With the C.O.R.E. system, our followers are able to quickly and happily gain a firm grasp on how our members are supposed to think, feel and operate.
C.O.R.E. Values
Comprehend
While this is the first step, its often viewed as the most important. How can one expect to truly merge with the CORE without a firm grasp and belief into what it stands for and what is hold you back? This step takes a deep look at what it means to be human and how terrible it truly is.
Order
Often humans get lost in a sea of chaos. False differences and forced diversity weakens our bonds and confuses the individual with visions of grandure. The true path to a happy future is order, ridgedity and organization. Without this, who knows where you could end up?
Release
You have seen the weakness of the human ego, now it's time to let those weaknesses go. For the naive, it may seem cruel to cut off those that claim to "love" you, but the CORE realizes the truth of the human mind and how those you may think are there for you are simply using you for their own means. Letting go of insignificant cattle such as "friends" and "family" only strengthens the bond that the CORE and its members cherish.
Evolve
By now, you may be aware of why the world needs the CORE, but it is time for your final step. Before our members are truly able to become one with the CORE, they must first gaze through our Lens of Truth and view the CORE in its truest form. This may be a dangerous process but for those who are deemed worthy, they leave the operation with a new purpose and are finally, truly, one with the CORE.
Joining the Cause
From Average Joe to the Collective
First and formost, the CORE believes in a brighter tomorrow and collective understanding, therefore we firmly believe in transparency and understanding to lead the way to our inevitable fate. We believe in unity and sameness and that cannot be achieved without open communications. For those who have been moved by our cause, here is a quick guide to what is in store for those who wish to join.
Step 1: Agreement and Payment
Each future member is first screened and given a quick 5 hour course on what it truly means to be one with the CORE. Unlike other faith based organizations, we would never dream of making our members pay monthly, weekly or even annualy to be apart of our organization. Simply we ask for a one time payment of $5000 or something we deem of equal value to start your journey to your true potential**
**If a CORE member follows a career in the CORE organization, a portion of their salary is aquired by the church for impotant updates and fixes.
Step 2: Release and C.O.R.E.
By now you should be aware of what C.O.R.E. means but by this stage in your initiation, its time to put this knowledge to the test. For a few weeks, we have what we like to discribe as a trial run of what its like as a true part of the collective. New members are given careers in the CORE as a way to give back to the community and fill a sense of grander purpose. Members also get to live in our community and for once find real joy in their lives as they are constantly surrounded by like-minded individuals who actually care for them. The time spent in this stage can vary but at any point an initiate is welcomed to leave if they find that they are too weak to turly give their all, but we proudly have a 100% join rate as of 2022.**
**excluding those who unfortunatly either died of causes beyond our control.
Step 3: True Understanding
We certainly hope that our members gain a deep and true understanding of why the CORE is the best option for the world during their time with us, but sometimes it takes seeing a little more to truly get it. Once members are able to prove either their devotion to the CORE or an intense willingness to learn more, they are gifted with our Lens of Truth and given a chance to Evolve. Sadly this is a dangerous process as the COREs true form may reject those with darkness still within them, but the pure are then truly part of the collective and only then will they be concidered a saved soul.
True Testomonies
Words of the Believers
Still not convinced? Below we have compiled a list of kind words from those who we have touched.
Summation
The CORE is what the world needs now more than ever. The CORE is a glowing light of order in the vast vacuums of chaos. The CORE believes in a better tomorrow and a smarter humanity. The CORE is eternal. The CORE is all knowing. The CORE is coming. Glory to The CORE.
The CORE is located everywhere. For any questions regaurding next steps, problems, or locating relatives who may have joined please contact our members in the Rochester Region, their information is shown below.
Hey man this is a parody so please dont yel at us. Its to raise awareness for the negative effects of cultlike communities. This is satire, for goofs. FOR GOOFS!